Saturday 16 May 2015

10 very useful guides to building self-confidence

Let me start by telling my story. When I was a kid, I was so shy and lacks confidence that even other shy kids call me shy. I mean if you literally want to murder me, just get me to stand in front of the whole class. I don't partake in class discussions or group talks, not because I was dumb or lack what to say, I was just a category B shy kid. I was suffering from Enochlophobia - Fear of crowds.
Now for the sake for explanation I would classify shyness into 4 categories;
Category A - Alarming
Category B - very disturbing
Category C - Disturbing
Category D - Normal

Okay the topic isn't about shyness I get it, so let's not deviate.
Self-confidence is made up of two components: self-efficacy and self-esteem.

Self-efficacy is the strength of one's belief in one's own ability to complete a task or reach a goal.
Self-esteem on other hand reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth.It is the judgement of oneself and attitude toward self. It also comprise of belief and emotion.

Now how do we build self confidence? How do we overcome the coward inside of us? Trust me, everyone has that coward inside, some people have simply developed themselves enough that it seem not to exist.
If you want to amount to something in life you need self-confidence to do that. The saying is true that fortune always favours the bold. Lack of self-confidence can hinder you from accomplishing a lot of things in life. I know of guys who are so shy that they can't walk up to the ladies they admire. How pathetic! I know a lady who has a really nice voice but can't go for audition just because she can't stand the crowd. How horrible!
News flash, You can't make it in life in isolation. No one can build your self-confidence for you. Self-confidence can be developed. Lack of self-confidence will make you look like a timid dog.
The reason a lot people lack self-confidence is because they are people oriented. They are always worried about people's opinion or perspective about them or what they are doing. The truth is, people will always think whatsoever they want to think about you. Don't make that your problem. Now let me show you 10 ways to build self-confidence.

Dress smart
Maybe it's time you revisit your wardrobe and make some adjustment. Remember the way you dress is probably the way you will be addressed. You seldom feel confident in a tattered dress, expect you are a mad person.The dress may not necessarily make the man, but it can however affect his perception of himself. Learn how to dress well. I'm not saying for you to spend your fortune on designer dress. No! Take good care of the ones you already have. If you don't have money for expensive clothes it's also okay, buy the ones you can afford and wear them with pride. Make sure they are always neat and well ironed. Spray some perfume and you're good to go. And hey, don't forget to wear a smile *wink.

Walk faster
I don't mean for you to walk as if you are running late or something is after you. I mean walk like you have a purpose! Don't drag your feet or trudge like a tired old woman. Put some energy and swag into your steps. Walking faster make you look important and purposeful. Let people see the confidence in you by the way you walk. Even though you are not in a hurry, you can still walk fast. Confident people are seldom sluggish, they put some spirit into whatever they do.

Maintain good posture
Now I'm talking about the way by which you hold your body upright against gravitational pull while standing, sitting or lying down. To maintain a good posture, you have to train your body to stand, walk, sit and lie in position where the least strain is placed on supporting muscles and ligaments during movement or weight-bearing activities.
A good postures involve keeping the bones and joints in the correct alignment so that the muscles are being used properly.
Good posture help to reduce the abnormal wearing of joint surfaces that could result in arthritis. It prevent the spine from becoming fixed in abnormal positions, can prevent fatigue because muscles are being used more efficiently, allowing the body to use less energy. It prevents backache and muscular pain and generally contributes to a good appearance.

Be grateful
First you have to be grateful to god for making you who you are. Be grateful to your parents for bringing you into the world, and then be grateful to yourself for being you. Yes! Learn how to appreciate your own self as this can help boost your self-esteem. If you don't see any value in you, how can others see it? Don't focus so much on what you're not or don't have. Know that there is something in you that is not in anyone else in the world. You are simply unique! Be grateful for that!

Be happy
Happiness is a healing pill for low self-worth. Happy people are usually confident people. Learn to be happy in spite of the prevailing circumstances of your life. Sadness and feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help. Don't bury your head in the sand like an ostrich. Be happy both in good and bad times. It may seem difficult to do, but it isn't impossible. Happiness is a choice not an event. Make up your mind today that you are always going to be happy no matter what you face, and your self-confidence will greatly improve.

Let your voice count
Don't just sit in one corner of the room and let other people do the talking and decision making. Speak up! Let your voice be heard. Yes! You must overcome your own inertial and speak out. Don't think about what other people will say or think when you speak, just do it. Say something, anything that comes your mind, and that could be a start. Don't ever think for a minute that what you have to say isn't important or of less importance to that of others. No! Your opinion might just be the solution they are seeking for, but you won't know until you speak.

Practice in front of your mirror
You can stand in front of a mirror and practice how to smile, walk or talk. Be serious about it. This will give you the opportunity to correct any bad posture, smile or irregularity and not make a fool of yourself outside. I use to stand in front a mirror and give my reflection a 10 minutes lecture on confidence or marketing, lols. Remember that the more you practice the more confidence you will build eventually.

Work out
This is also very important as it helps you feel energitic and balanced. You can sign up in a local gym in your neighbourhood, or you can use the space in your garage and buy some cheap dumbbells and barbell or whatever is convenient for your workout. You can also have a friend come over so as to make it more exciting. Physical fitness can really affect your confidence, so make sure you workout to improve your physical appearance. Working out requires discipline and determination. Don't only workout when you feel like it, because more often than not you won't.

Sit in the front row
I know your instinct might suggest you find a quiet place at the back corner of the room or hall and make your self comfortable there, now that's the coward speaking! Take a bold step and sit at the front row where all the cowards are avoiding, that's were the action is anyway. sitting at the front will make you visible to the important people speaking in the room or hall, and make you important as well.

Compliment other people
There is something about complimenting other people that is mighty sweet. When you compliment others, it means you have a sense of appreciation and see things outside yourself. People that are too wrapped up in themselves cannot compliment other people, because they are too occupied with themselves, and usually it is in the negative sense. Complimenting other people can actually help your self-confidence because it usually takes gut to do that.

Photo credit: Shutterstock

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